We have officially entered into the Holiday Season! I am sure I am not the only momma who feels like her plate is running over already. There are gifts to think through, holiday crafts, holiday cooking, traditions, decorations, and the list just goes on and on. Right on top of the other millions of items we keep track of, manage, and keep alive during our day to day routines.

Alright it is 2 o’clock in the afternoon. I am on my second cup of strong coffee and I’ve got dinner, apple cider and cookies going. And I am fired up just enough to talk about the “Mom Guilt”! It feels like no matter how much I may get right, how much I get done, and how much I put myself together, “Mom Guilt” is waiting in the corner for the one item that doesn’t get accomplished. 

Expectations have been a common subject in a lot of conversations I have been a part of the last couple weeks. And though we all have different expectations, the process that each of us have to go through when expectations we have set need to be adjusted or doesn’t happen at all can look very similar. When you’ve tucked an idea, vision, or a goal into your heart and mind, it doesn’t always just transition or adjust easily. I know for me there is a mourning/processing stage that has to take place, even when I know the change is for the better. I tend to build dreams and visions around certain expectations that are very detailed and thought out. So all of those details also have to be shifted as well.    

I am sure we have all seen the videos of glasses filled with dirty water that is being poured into one glass from another glass and it continues like this until one glass starts having clean water poured in. Eventually this outside source of clean water removes all the dirt and the glass is now able to pour out clean water into the next glass. 

I’ve been thinking about lasts a lot lately. Like when Allie nursed for the last time, took a bottle for the last time. The last night it was just my hubby and I in our home. The last morning we got to sleep in past 7:30. And wondering what other lasts we will all be experiencing as life continues to move forward. 

I am fighting an ear infection right now. So I can’t really hear so well out of my left ear and though the pain has subsided a bit I still have lots of pressure. This infection has just kicked my butt and made me really slow down. Which of course led to a whole breakdown on Sunday night because I felt like I was failing and letting down my family because I am not able to do all the things that I feel I should be doing.

This weekend I got to attend a Women’s Brunch at our church! It was amazing! It was great to be able to sit with other ladies and just have time in fellowship. I was also super excited when I read that the message was going to be on Proverbs 3:5-6 NKJV

With the murder of a very known public speaker/defender of the Christian faith this week, I have been questioning and wondering what Allie’s future will look like when she is an adult. The track that our country and world is going at the moment has me concerned. I understand that scripture talks about the degrees to which the world will evolve into a deeper state of darkness as it gets closer to the second coming of Jesus Christ. And before Allie, I was able to sit a lot easier in that truth and see the constant falling away of this world as steps closer to Christ’s return. And though I still do see these moments that way, it takes a lot more prayer and surrender to get there. 

Now because I am what you would call a “scrunchy” momma. I try to use as many homeopathic ointments, pellets, and remedies that I can with Allie over traditional medication. I try to get organic foods when our budget allows for it. And I try to use only safe, non-toxic cleaning supplies. 

Last week I threw out my back and this week our baby has hand, foot, and mouth virus. No clue where she got it from. I’ve done all the mom things in letting every parent know that Allie has seen this week and sanitized everything in our home. I’ve set up limited toys for her so it’s an easier sanitation routine each night. I’m giving her any and all medicines/homeopathy that help with the itching and uncomfortableness that our baby is in right now. Also sent my hubby out to buy all the cold and soft foods that we could think of because my girl needs to get something in her belly. And all of my rules around TV and no ice cream for breakfast have gone right out the window. I will do any and everything right now to make sure Allie is fed, hydrated, itching as little as possible, and getting her rest. Even though that meant us all going for a drive last night at 11:45pm. Not what any of us had on the docket or really wanted to do. But she just wouldn’t stop scratching and her eyes were so red from exhaustion. Allie had only gotten an hour and half of sleep the whole day. So I did the only thing that worked when she was a newborn, we went for a drive. And because I was tired and didn’t trust myself to stay awake I asked my hubby to join, which of course he was more than happy to do. 

I have come to the conclusion this weekend that mommas are just not allowed to be sick or injured in any way. 

I am sorry that there isn't a post for this week. Our home has been under house arrest since Allie has been recovering from hand, foot, and mouth. Our whole schedule has been thrown out of whack and my mind is running in overdrive. Thank you in advance for your patience and understanding. A new post will be up next week. Sending all of you mommas lots of love and prayers. Keep healthy and safe during this back to school season.